Many years back I wrote about “Big D” the son of some very good friends back in Connecticut, and how he made me cry.

Just so you know how long ago this was, Big D grew up and got a college scholarship.  It wasn’t for him so he followed his heart and joined the United States Air Force.  Over these intervening years Big D served two tours in Afganistan, got married to a lovely girl, Cute C, spent a hitch with his bride in Spain and they returned to the US a year or so ago.

They remodeled a home on the west coast where he is serving.

But just this year, 2020, Big D and Cute C became the parents of Tiny R.  From he pictures she looks just adorable.

I just wanted to share this as it ties my old blogs from years ago to today.  Life goes on, Big D made me cry but he’s also made me smile.



I love waking up only to open Facebook and find I have been:

1-the last thing on someone mind before they hit the sheets.
2-the first thing they thought of when they awaken.
3-the one they dream of all night long.

It’s astounding that I; an overweight, ( I hate the word “OBESE” it sounds like a mythological animal that passes OBOES, which I also hate,) aging, pedantic curmudgeon has such a profound impact on people.

Really the whole curmudgeon bit is an affectation that I adopted for self protection since I am now too old to beat up 65% of the neighborhood!

So all I have to say is:



The Big D is my friend, he’s a young man who came into my family’s lives when he was just an infant.   I’ve known the Big D now for 20 years, initially only in a supporting role, when my Mother retired and took on the job of babysitting first him, and later his sister, we’ll call her Mighty Mite.

Over the years we spent a lot of time together, mostly becuase he brought my Mother such great joy; in return I helped him with his homework, helped his Dad coach his basketball team, even though I can’t dribble the ball than length of the court and back, and blew up the air mattresses when they spent the night at our house after watching the Kid’s Choice Awards.

Unfortunately, I haven’t been able to spend as much time with The Big D these past 5 years as I once did,  having moved 1500 miles away and starting my own family, and The Big D got big enough where he didn’t need a babysitter anymore, he is serving in the US Air Force now! 

The Big D never forgot my Mother and he had always shown her great love and affection.  My Mother passed this last January, and The Big D made sure to visit her in the Hospital.  She was the first person he visited when he got home from Boot and she was so proud of him in his dress blues, as were we all whe he wore those same dress blues as we said our last good byes to her at the Funeral Mass, where The Big D and Mighty Mite gave the readings.

The point I’ve been struggling to make is that The Big D has done something surprising, essentially he has made a personal dedication to my Mother’s memory in permanent ink.  The words from a song called One Step at a Time by Four Year Strong are:

“One step at a time
One foot in front of the other
I’m gonna get through this one way or another
Cause I know it’s warmer where you are
Cause no matter how far the view
I still always look up to you
I’ll always look up to you”

D, thanks for helping me remember Mom again, even though you made me cry.

Thanks and I really mean thanks, I love  you and so does Marge.